There's no goodbye for us

I remember the earlier times I knew a girl. We became close friends through our church activities. We shared with each other our hobbies, interests, and even problems. I became fond of her with time and from this point on, I wanted nothing more than to help her with her problems and take care of her.

And so a time came when we dated. We had good times and bad times, just like anyone else. But our bad times never improved. I didn't know what to do, I did everything I thought I could do and still I did not see any improvement in her.

I regret not being able to do enough and by now I've come to realize it's not in my power to be able to help her. I regret not having asked God for help before. I regret the many times that I lost my cool and acted/spoke rashly. And from this day on, I promise that I won't let myself near her until I have sufficient self-control.

Only after she's been taken away from me do I realize that what I wanted from her has not changed and that I've been taking so much for granted. I can't possibly ask for much more than a girl with a beautiful heart who acknowledges the grace of God. She definitely has her struggles right now, but her passion remains strong in giving out a hand for people. She sees me as the best man there is for her and there's nothing else to it.

There is still so much I have to learn from this girl. I just hope that when she does get better, she feels the same way about me and will come back to me with the same open heart she had before. What worries me most is that what she has for me is an obsession or dependency rather than love. Regardless, I'm going to set the rest of my life to studies and wait for her.

When she does get into a state when I would be allowed to talk to her and I am also ready, I will accept her with the same open arms that always welcomed me.
But until then, I will pray everyday that healing and improvement will happen in both of us and that a such a moment will happen one day.